


The Stranger and the Strange Man

by Out-of-Character217 (jacksgirl217)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Autism, Homelessness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9094900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksgirl217/pseuds/Out-of-Character217
Summary: Cloud is homeless and the victim of yet another drunken attack. Leon stops to offer his assistance. But who is the stranger, and who is the strange man? - my offering for the Strifehart Secret Santa over on tumblr, a gift fic for the beautiful Liverpepper.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yourhandiheld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourhandiheld/gifts).



It didn't matter how many layers of paper he stuffed into his jumper, Cloud could still feel the cold. His feet felt it the worst, but that probably had more to do with the hole that had been worn through the sole of his beaten up boots, and the freezing slush soaked through to his tatty sock. 

Summer was a fine time to be homeless. Late, warm evenings and the fresh scent of hot pavement in the air. Cloud squeezed his eyes closed tighter and tried to picture it, but the cold air caught in his nostrils as he tried to take a whiff of that imagined scene, and it also didn't help that the three drunks from the bar down the road were currently kicking seven shades of shit out of him; the frosted air getting stuck in his lungs where a wayward boot had caught his diaphragm. 

He'd tried to wriggle away but his legs were tangled up in his sleeping bag, and so he'd curled up small, cheek pressed to the freezing slush that was speckled with dots of red, and waited for it to be over. 

It was hard to judge how long they'd be. Some got tired after a few minutes, exhausted by their own eagerness. Others played it out as long as they could. After three years on the street this wasn't the first time he'd been attacked. You never could trust a drunk. 

One final kick to his face and a boot brought down hard on his wrist, and that was the end of that. Through the ringing in his ears and the warmth of the blood gushing from his nose, Cloud watched the three men disappear. Staggering and laughing, congratulating each other. 

Cloud tried to pull the sleeping bag up around his chin and control the shivering. He heard it was a trick of the mind, all he had to do was relax his shoulders and tell himself he wasn't cold. But that was easier said than done when his nose and cheeks ached from the bitterness and his ears were stung red. He could barely move his arm anyway. 

It had started to snow again, and the wet footprints on the pavement were  slowly being filled in. The wind blew the drifts of snow up against the doorway Cloud was sprawled out in, and he lamented another night of freezing and soggy blankets. He watched the swirling, tumbling snow flakes fall from the inky sky with a dazed sort of detachment, all the while registering the sound of approaching footsteps with mild curiosity. Maybe that blow to the head had hit him harder than he'd thought? 

The blurry outline of a man came into view, and Cloud watched him, lazy and unhurried in his movements as he crouched down and tilted his head to the right, taking in Cloud's ragged and tatty clothes, blood stained face, and the churned up snow. 

"You're hurt," the man said. His voice seemed to disturb some of the fog from Cloud's mind and his vision cleared a bit, the haze parting to reveal the man and his glacial eyes in startling clarity. It didn't last long. Cloud was adrift on a sea of nausea, and it quickly closed over him again. He groaned in response and closed his eyes, wanting to make the world stop tipping sideways and back every time he moved his eyes. 

"You shouldn't be out here, you're hurt." The man said again, his voice echoing inside Cloud's skull. Cloud couldn't agree more with him, but what else was he gonna do? 

He felt a touch against his forehead, the warmth of fingers like a hot lance through his temple and he shrank back, eyes tearing open to stare up at the stranger with as much warning as he could reasonably muster. 

"I live over there," the man pointed behind him across the street, and Cloud had a vague sense of recollection as he remembered seeing the man walking to and from his apartment each morning and evening. Same time everyday, like clockwork. "You should come with me."

Cloud managed to raise himself up onto his elbow, keeping his spinning head steady as he wrinkled his brows and levelled the strange man with the stare that suggested he was crazy. 

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Cloud groaned, bracing his bruised ribs with a stiff and frozen hand as he sat up, breathless with the exertion. 

"But you're hurt." The strange man observed again, his gaze never quite meeting Cloud's. Cloud narrowed his eyes and considered him, noting his finely cut features and piercing stare that held a strange simplicity within them, though it was hard to read them completely. His hair was dark and long around his face, and the only imperfection was a long and neat scar that cut across the bridge of his nose. 

"It's cold; you could freeze out here." He added, those strange eyes appearing to hold a simple concern. 

"What's it to you?" Cloud snapped, surprised that his rudeness didn't even seem to register with him. The man shrugged, looked over his shoulder as if considering something, and then looked back in Cloud's direction, placing his gaze just above Cloud's collar. 

"My place is warm, and there's a shower if you want. It's just over there." He said again, pointing across the street.  
   
Great, Cloud thought to himself, I'm being harassed by a simpleton.  

"Look buddy, I don't need your pity, okay? I'll be alright, just go home; It's Christmas, I'm sure you've got family to get to."

The man continued to stare at him and then slowly shook his head.

"No," he admitted quietly. "It's just me."

The simple, unaffected way he said it, without any trace of emotion or self-pity, twisted something in Cloud that resembled empathy, and he stared hard at him. 

"You live on your own? No family or friends?"

The man shrugged again and shook his head. A clear sign he felt the statement was neither unusual or problematic. "You shouldn't be out here when you're hurt." He repeated again, an earnest sort of frown creasing his brow. 

"You make a habit of inviting strangers back to your house?" Cloud asked, wondering not for the first time in this short exchange why he was even entertaining him. Being homeless was like being invisible; no one noticed him. Except when they were drunk and looking for sport. 

"No. You're the first." The man said without any hint of irony or amusement. "Are you coming or not?" He added, standing to his full height. 

Cloud took a moment to consider. The man put him on edge, there was no denying that. But then again wasn't that Cloud's default? It was a foolish man who lived on the streets and didn't remain in a high state of alert. But Cloud was tired and sore and he really, really wanted that hot shower. 

"Fine," he said, moving against his better judgement. He stood up, slowly and with a muffled groan of pain, and extended his hand in offering. "I'm Cloud." 

The man stared at it for a moment, before cautiously slipping his own warm fingers into Cloud's palm and shook it briefly. "Leon." 

The contact lasted only as long as it needed to, and then Cloud was gathering up his meagre belongings and following the stranger across the road to his apartment.  
   
It was small and simple; a living area with kitchenette, a single bedroom and bathroom and a small box room that had been cleverly adapted into a study. The only odd thing about it was the lack of photos or decorations – considering the time of year. 

"Not a fan of Christmas huh?" Cloud observed with a wry grin as he set his bag down by the sofa. 

Leon shrugged, "It's alright. The bathroom is down the hall, you can use the shower if you want. You're still bleeding." 

Cloud had to admit Leon's reluctance to meet his gaze was unnerving, the fact that he seemed to notice things around him regardless was even more so. He lifted grubby fingers to his nose and they came away smeared with blood. His face was still so cold he hadn't noticed. 

"Ugh, sorry. I... I'd better go clean up." Cloud limped down the hall, wondering exactly what he'd gotten himself into. 

It had been a long time since Cloud had seen his reflection, and considering the image that stared back at him from the mirror above the sink, he reasoned it wasn’t such a bad thing. Sunken and tired eyes set into a grimy and bloody face, speckled with a coarse beard that never seemed to grow in fully stared back at him. Grimy hair that hung limp and greasy around his face was growing out just a little too long, snagged in places but knots. He hated to admit it, but he needed the generous offer of a shower and the opportunity to clean up more than he’d realised. It took him longer than an hour to finally consider himself decent enough to re-emerge. He opened the door to find a pile of clean clothes stacked neatly in the hallway, and once he was dressed and clean shaven, hair combed and smelling distinctly more pleasant than when he’d entered, he headed back to the living room to find Leon occupying himself in the kitchenette. 

“Where are my clothes?” he asked, more than a little alarmed to find his bag had been opened and the contents removed. 

“In the washer.” Leon replied simply, pouring something from the stove into a bowl. Cloud didn’t know whether that made him feel better or not. “Here, I made you something to eat.” Leon offered him the bowl, the thick scent of hot soup making his belly growl.

“...thanks.” Cloud hesitated, far from feeling put at ease. It was taking longer than normal to figure out this guys angle, and there was something unreadable in his soft expression that gave away nothing. 

On the coffee table, spread out in a jumbled, organised mess, were sheaves of paper and text books, covered in equations and algorithms that might as well have been an alien language for all Cloud knew. He watched as Leon hurriedly tided them up into a neat pile and clutched them to his chest, making room for Cloud to sit down and set his meal on the table. Leon sat opposite him, setting the work on his lap carefully, running his palm over the pages to keep them from wrinkling.

“You some kind of math whiz?” Cloud asked casually, shaking his burnt fingers out. 

“Physicist,” Leon corrected him quickly, throwing him a furtive glance from under swaying bangs that made contact with Cloud’s gaze for all but one point naught of a second. “I’m a theoretical physicist at HBU.”

“Sounds technical.” Cloud whistled, some of Leon’s oddness falling into place a little as he smiled inwardly. 

“It’s alright,” Leon shrugged.

Cloud bit the inside of his cheek and considered his host for a moment. He’d never met a stranger man, that was for certain, but so far he was fairly certain he wasn’t in any immediate danger. The kind of weird vibes he was getting weren’t the ‘drug you and wear your skin’ type vibes, but caution was second nature to Cloud. It would take more than a warm shower and a hot meal to lower his guard. 

He ate in silence, acutely aware that Leon was watching him without actually watching him, and he waited to see if the strange man would initiate any sort of conversation. When it became painfully obvious that he wouldn’t, Cloud’s suspicions were irritated again. 

“You’re not much of a talker, are you?” He observed, setting his spoon back into the bowl. Leon shook his head. “You got no family or friends?” Cloud asked again, looking around the room for photos that would indicate a lie. 

“I have some friends. I don’t see them much.” It was the closest Leon had come to being affronted all night, though that wasn’t saying much. Cloud was beginning to wonder exactly what Leon wanted from him. 

“Busy with work I’ll bet,” he began, watching Leon shrug. “Must get kinda lonely.”

“It’s alright.” Leon gave his answer that Cloud realised was quickly becoming standard. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were neatly folded across the papers on his lap, an air of awkward nervousness about him, and Cloud was beginning to realise exactly why Leon had brought him back here. 

Typical, he thought. No such thing as something for nothing. 

“No one special: a girlfriend?” Cloud asked, pretence starting to slip away. “Boyfriend?” 

Leon frowned a little. “No.”

Cloud nodded and sucked on the inside of his cheek. “I see.” Breathing deep, he steeled himself. It wasn’t the first time, and in all fairness, Leon wasn’t completely unfortunate looking. It wouldn’t be a total bind. 

“I’d better get you some blankets.” Leon stood up, taking his books and papers with him, and Cloud took that as his queue. He stood too, and followed him into the hallway, waiting there until Leon returned with a pile of blankets in his arms. He appeared alarmed to find Cloud waiting there for him, the look of surprise flitting across his face for a nanosecond before he backed up slightly, his back hitting the door frame as Cloud crowded in. 

“What are you doing?” Leon asked, a hint of uncertainty colouring his tone. 

“I thought you wanted some company,” Cloud reached up and lightly brushed his fingers against Leon’s cheek, making the taller man flinch slightly as he eyed the offending hand with a sideways glance. “That’s why you brought me up here, right?”

“I… I just...” Leon was cut off by Cloud gently prizing the blankets out of his arms. He let them fall to the floor, that last barrier between them now eradicated, and Leon stood with his empty hands raised in front of him, palms outward, and Cloud stepped into his personal space and ran his hand down the centre of his chest. 

He could feel the heavy heartbeat beneath the cage of his ribs; feel the elevated breath against his cheek, and slowly, Cloud lowered his hand and placed it over Leon’s crotch, making the man’s breath hitch in his throat and his whole body flinch and stiffen. 

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Cloud asked, his breath ghosting Leon’s bottom lip as he glanced the tip of his nose against the taller man’s. “You wanted to fuck me?” Cloud pressed the barest of kisses to Leon’s still lips, trying his hardest to capture Leon’s gaze as the man continued to stare off to the side, his cheeks heated red. Leon shook his head, a small sound coming from the back of his throat that might have been a no.

“You want me to fuck you?” Cloud asked instead, not in the least bit repelled by that idea. He continued to tease Leon’s bottom lip, pressing enticing little kisses to it, licking the outline as his hand worked slow circles against the fabric of Leon’s jeans. 

“You… you were hurt,” Leon finally managed to get out, the nearness of the other man making him squirm uncomfortably. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Cloud stopped his ministrations and pulled back a little. He furrowed his brow, and still couldn’t get Leon to look him in the eye, though he began to feel a terrible sense of realisation steal over him. 

“You mean… you don’t wanna fuck?” Cloud let his hand fall away, his own cheeks starting to heat for a different reason. 

“No.” Leon shook his head, and suddenly it became apparent that the man’s stiff posture, his raised hands and uneven breathing, were not because of an awkward desire, but just plain awkwardness. Cloud was thrown headlong into embarrassment, and he quickly backed away, swallowing thickly as he rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I just thought… I… well, you know.” He laughed, though it contained no amusement. Leon just continued to stare at the floor, his hands still raised in defence. “I really am sorry, I didn’t mean...” he trailed off. “I should go.”

He turned back into the living room, and picked his bag up, its empty contents remind him that he couldn’t leave just quite yet. 

“Your clothes are still in the washer.” Leon said behind him, though he kept his distance. “And it’s still cold outside. You can still sleep on the couch, if you want.” 

Though he really didn’t want, Cloud calculated that he actually didn’t have much of a choice. He turned back to Leon, who had retrieved the blankets from the floor and was holding them out to him in a relative semblance of a peace offering. 

“Thanks,” Cloud replied, taking the blankets and avoiding Leon’s face just as vehemently as he was avoiding his own. 

“I’m going to bed,” Leon told him, “Alone. Goodnight, Cloud.” He added. 

“Goodnight, Leon. And thanks.” 

Leon turned back to him, a small awkward smile on his lips. “Merry Christmas,” he said softly.

Cloud snorted, amused by Leon’s wry humour despite himself. 

“Merry Christmas, Leon.”


	2. Chapter 2

Autism, Aerith had called it. The word had brought evocative images to Cloud's mind as he had watched Leon potter in her kitchen. 

"Don't people like that live in homes and institutions?" He’d asked. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't equate what he thought he knew with the man who had taken him in. Sure Leon was odd, but no more than anyone else that had their quirks.  
   
"It's a spectrum. Some are more affected than others. Leon gets by – in his own way – so long as he has routine and structure. Inviting you into his life was quite out of character. I hope you know that." Aerith had given him a knowing smile, and still Cloud was amazed that she had accepted him so willingly. Leon obviously hadn't told her about their little 'misunderstanding'. 

One night had turned into two, which had turned into a week, and eventually, Cloud had become a permanent fixture on Leon's sofa. He'd tidy his makeshift bed away first thing, and like the individual cogs of a greater machine, they had slipped into a comfortable routine; Cloud's part in Leon's life like the unobtrusive accompaniment of background music. They cooked together and ate together, cleaned and tidied side by side, and watched each other from side-long glances as Leon worked on his papers; each day ending with the now familiar wish of a good night and the soft click of a bedroom door. 

"It still makes me wonder why he did it. He doesn't make friends easily." Aerith had pondered, an elegant finger against her chin as she watched Leon bake. It was a weekly ritual – Saturdays were spent with his only friend – and Leon seemed to like this arrangement just fine. Never once expressing discontentment at the lack of people in his life. Cloud had asked Aerith about that too. 

"That's... probably best left for Leon to explain." She told him cryptically, getting up from the sofa to put the coffee on. 

So Cloud had tucked that question away for later, unsure if he wanted to ripple the relatively still waters of his new life. So Leon was autistic? So he didn't have any family and barely any friends? Cloud could live with all of that. 

The new year had come and gone, and had brought the harder, colder snows with it. Glancing out of the fourth floor window of Leon's apartment, Cloud sat in the bay seat, thanking his lucky stars he wasn't out on the streets shivering in some door way. Leon could be as strange as he wanted, all he had to continue to be was patient as Cloud contemplated his future. He'd considered going back to the army more than once, but the echoes of battle and the shadows of nightmares those thoughts bought with them quickly changed his mind, and his musings always turned darker afterwards.

No. The army was well and truly behind him. There was no going back to what he had run from. 

That left a regular day job. But even someone as basic in education as Cloud knew he was qualified for very little. Then there was the tiny matter of where he'd been and what he'd been doing for the last three years. 

Glancing down onto the white, snow-blown streets, Cloud saw a familiar head of brown hair come walking up the path. Right on time, Leon was home from work, and Cloud rose from his seat by the window and he positioned himself in the kitchenette, ready and waiting for Leon to start cooking. 

Leon offered a small hello and a friendly smile as he came through the door. Hanging his coat and bag up on the same hook, he toed his boots off and placed them in the same spot on the rack. Cloud began pulling out ingredients. Wednesday meant meatloaf, and with now practiced ease, he ordered the food in front of him, lining them up in order of which went in first, and waited for Leon to join him. 

"Good day?" He asked casually, miming the apathetic shrug of Leon's shoulders as he replied predictably. 

"It was alright."

"Learn much?" He passed Leon the onion and waited for him to chop it.

"Nothing new." Leon wrinkled his nose. 

"Huh, guess nothing is new when you already understand the universe." 

"I don't understand everything." Typical Leon couldn't take a joke. 

"I find that hard to believe." Cloud was in a playful mood despite his earlier musings. 

"No one understands everything, Cloud." 

"Yeah, well, you seem like you have a pretty good handle on it from where I'm sitting." Cloud handed him the breadcrumbs.

"I know I don't understand people; they’re not like physics." Leon continued to chop the onion, completely oblivious to the fact that he had Cloud’s full attention. It wasn’t often Leon was ‘chatty’, and Cloud intended to take every advantage of his pleasant mood. “I don’t understand you.” Leon’s comment had Cloud pausing in his work, an odd sort of look falling across his face as he considered Leon's profile. 

"What's not to understand? I'm a pretty simple guy when all's said and done." 

"You're not like the others; they're confusing because there's too much..." Leon stopped, obviously finding it hard to think of the right words to explain his feelings, and eventually he gave up, shaking his head, making his silky hair sway back and forth in front of his eyes. "But you're quiet. Like there's nothing underneath. It's different; there's no noise." 

"Other people are noisy?" Cloud was more than curious. Leon nodded. 

"Their faces and bodies: they make noises. It's like they're saying stuff without opening their mouths, stuff I don’t understand." Leon's brows creased in strained memory, a fleeting shadow of something unpleasant passing behind his eyes, before he shook it off and carried on working. "But with you there's nothing. It's like you're quiet inside. I like it." 

Though Cloud was far from quiet inside, he appreciated the way Leon saw him. He had no idea what it meant, or why the older man saw him that way, but if it didn't bother Leon then it didn't bother Cloud. 

"Think I'll take that as a compliment."

"Whatever," Leon shrugged. 

*******

"He needs routine, Cloud. Don't forget that." Aerith had warned him, a stern look in her eye that had left no room for argument. "It makes him feel safe. He doesn't do well when you force him to deviate. It throws his whole world out. Can you understand that?"

If there was one thing Cloud understood, it was having your whole life turned on its head. He couldn't imagine something as trivial as missing laundry day being the catalyst, but he'd take Aerith at her word. Leon seemed like a pretty reasonable guy after all. And he had adjusted to Cloud's presence in his life with relative ease. Perhaps the woman was simply being over protective? Either way, Cloud was enjoying the moderate comfort of a well organised life. It echoed military standards, and it was something he had been taught to appreciate. 

"Don't worry, I got this, Aer." He'd told her. 

Friday was food shopping day, and to save Leon the inconvenience of having to come home to go back out again, Cloud had started meeting him half way. On the corner of Traverse and Daybreak, there was a small mini market, and Cloud dutifully waited with his hands stuffed into his large overcoat, breathing condensation out into the winter afternoon. It would be dark within the hour, and Cloud was all too aware of Leon's aversion to being out after hours. 

Cloud rubbed at his tired eyes and blinked them hard against the sting of the cold. He didn't mind admitting to himself that sleep had been illusive these past couple of weeks. Normally that would have been solved by a bottle of something strong and the sporadic clutches of half sleep he caught in between getting moved from pillar to post. But since moving in with Leon he'd cut back on the drink, and the provision of somewhere safe and warm to sleep had meant that when sleep was elusive, he had nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and contemplate his life. Not something he was predisposed to do. A similar sense of dark foreboding had been what had driven him from his army bunk in the first place. The night time shadows always were the hardest ones to evade, and Cloud had been dodging them for the longest time. He felt the telling scratch of a troubling itch that could not be satisfied, and he swallowed against the dryness in the back of his throat. 

Leon was predictably on time.

“How was work?”

Leon shrugged, “It was alright.”

“Learn anything new?”

“I’m helping the Hungarians research the development of a possible protophobic X boson.” Leon picked up a basket and hooked it over his arm, holding the door open for Cloud to follow him in.

“Right, the Hungarians,” Cloud nodded. “And the photogenic boson is…?”

“Protophobic X boson.” Leon corrected him. “Its a theory, but it means there could potentially be a fifth force of nature. Other electromagnetic forces act on protons and electrons, this one only acts on electrons and neutrons, and only ever over short distances. If the theory is proven correct, it could change the way we look at the universe.”

Cloud gave a low whistle as he picked up an apple and began to inspect it for bruising. Happy with his find, he began to fill a bag. “Sounds like serious stuff.”

Leon nodded approvingly. “It is.”

They shopped in silence for a few more minutes, before Leon cleared his throat by the dairy aisle and gave his companion a cautionary glance. “Cloud, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Cloud selected the butter he knew Leon liked and put it into the basket. 

“Why do you ask me about my work? I know you don’t understand it.”

It was a fair enough question and it made the corner of Cloud’s mouth flicker into a tiny smile as he busied himself with perusing the cheeses.

“Because I like to hear you talk about it.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense.”

Cloud picked a block of Edam and dropped it into the basket, sighing dramatically as he gave Leon an affectionate smile. “Yeah well, ain’t that just life all over?” He replied, and Leon had to agree with him on that point. 

Groceries and sundries successfully purchased, they left the mini market and started to head home, Leon’s gait growing noticeably longer the darker the sky became. They would have made it home on time, had they not passed the bar just a few blocks from their apartment. It was the first time Cloud had been tempted, and he couldn’t deny the urge was strong; stronger than it had ever been since being picked up off the street. 

“Hey, Leon, just hold on a minute.” Cloud said, slowing down as they walked by. 

“What is it, we’re gonna be late.”

Cloud hesitated, making Leon shift from foot to foot with impatience. 

“I just… I just wanna stop off here for a few minutes,” He said, nodding towards the bar “Just for one drink.”

“We can’t, we’re gonna be late.”

“No we won’t, we’ve got plenty of time.” Cloud tried to reassure him, offering a small, encouraging smile. Leon looked through the window, taking in the crowded bar and the noise spilling out from the door that was stood ajar. He shook his head. 

“I don’t want to.”

“Why not?” Cloud moved a little closer to the entrance. “It’s only for one drink. It’s Friday, its not like you have to be at work tomorrow.”

“I just don’t want to, okay?” Leon’s tone had become irritable, an edge of nervousness affecting his shoulders as he inched away. 

Cloud sighed, “Fine, then you go home, I’ll follow you in a bit.” He offered, reaching for the door handle and pulled it open.

“No, Cloud. we’re supposed to go home together.” Leon replied firmly.

“You’ll be fine. Just go home, I’ll catch you up.” Cloud didn’t even bother to wait for Leon to answer before he was inside. He was seated at the bar waiting to be served, unaware that Leon was still outside, torn between going on home ahead of his companion or following him inside. By the time Cloud had his drink in front of him and he was taking his first sip, Leon had reluctantly pulled the bar door open and was making his way towards him, obviously distressed. 

“Cloud, we can’t be here, we have to go home.” He said above the noise, ducking his head low. He’d never been in the bar before, and the unfamiliarity of it was putting him on edge.

“So go home then.” Cloud shot back over his shoulder, the first stirrings of irritation working their way into his voice. 

“I can’t, not without you. Its Friday,” he reminded him, though his definition of Friday differed wildly from Cloud’s. “Its lasagne.”

“You know what, Leon? For one night, just forget about your damned routine, Okay? I don’t want Lasagne, I want a drink. So either go home without me, or sit there and be quite. Either way, I don’t care.” Cloud felt guilty the moment he’d said it. But it was out now and the look on Leon’s face told him it wouldn’t matter if he tried to take it back. Besides, he still had his drink to finish. 

Leon bit his bottom lip and scowled at his shoes. The bag of groceries was clutched in his left arm like a life preserver, and with a pained glance around the room, Leon slowly sat down on the stool next to Cloud. 

“There, that’s not so bad, is it?” 

Leon refused to answer.

It took all of thirty minutes for Cloud’s drink to go right through him, and he stood up, crushing Leon’s expectant face with a casual reply as he headed to the bathroom:

“I’m gonna take a leak. Wait here.” He ignored Leon’s cry of protest, pretending it had been lost in the crowd as he pushed his way through to the toilet at the back. There was a line for the urinals, and as Cloud waited, he couldn’t shake the guilt niggling at the back of his mind. 

He was being an ass and he knew it. But was it really that big of a deal? It was just one drink. Plenty of people did it, and it wasn’t that big of a change to their normal routine. If Leon could handle a homeless man coming to live with him then he could handle one lousy drink at their local bar. But what was it Aerith had said about structure? About how it made Leon feel safe?

Shit, Cloud though as he zipped himself back up, I gotta take him home.

It took him a few minutes to push his way back through the crowd and the moment he laid his eyes on where Leon was supposed to be sat, he began to understand why he wasn’t supposed to take Leon out of his normal routine. 

Leon had been crowded up against the wall by three men, all angry looking and threatening, and all of them wider than brick shit houses. With startling clarity, Cloud realised that Leon was in trouble. He was looking down at his shoes, holding the bag of groceries in front of him like a shield as one of the assholes poked a finger into his shoulder, nudging him backwards into the door frame. 

“You got a problem with where I’m sitting I suggest you take it up with my fuckin’ foot.” Cloud heard one of them say, shoving Leon with more than just his finger this time, obviously annoyed at Leon’s silence. 

“Hey, knock it off.” Cloud growled as he came up behind the three men, noticing for the first time how troubling tall they all were.

“What the fucks it got to do with you, princess?”

“Cloud, they sat in your seat and wouldn’t get up.” Leon informed him from behind his bag of shopping.

“And I told you I’ll sit where I want. What are you a fucking retard or something?” The man shoved Leon’s shoulder into the door frame again, and Cloud saw red. He reached up and gripped the man around his wrist, twisting it hard up behind his back and used the momentum to swing him round. It was a quick and violent action that scattered both bodies and stools as the man crashed to the floor, Cloud landing on top of him in a hurried heap of flailing limbs. He didn’t waste any time in aiming the first blow, unaware that Leon had tried to jump in after him, only to be caught up by the other two and knocked sideways.

It was a short struggle between Cloud and his victim. He’d taken him by surprise and put him on his ass too quickly for him to get his bearings, and Cloud was on the verge of feeling good about his victory when he turned to find Leon and saw him being thrown against the wall; the fist that caught him around the jaw had split his lip and the impact had sent his bag of groceries tumbling to the floor.

Ice cold fear stole any sense of victory away from Cloud’s guts. He charged forwards, crashing himself into the two men that had Leon pinned up against the wall and took them all down, himself included, and they landed with a sickening thud against the floor. A short scramble later and it was all over. Picked up by the bouncers, Cloud was thrown out onto the street, Leon a few moments after him. 

Cloud got to his feet quickly, stumbling over to where Leon lay on his side, clutching his stomach, his head limp against the snow as his lip bled. 

“Leon!” Cloud gasped as he knelt down next to him, a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. Leon groaned and opened his eyes, staring up through his bangs with a bewildered sort of daze. 

“Come on, can you stand?” Cloud asked, offering his hand out. 

Leon shrugged his shoulder hard, shoving Cloud off him, and with a pained gasp he rocked himself onto his elbow.

“Get off me.” He growled, clearly winded. 

Cloud sat back on his heels as he watched Leon slowly climb to his feet, that guilt creeping back into the forefront now that the adrenaline was wearing off. 

“Leon, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I told you we shouldn’t have gone in there!” Leon cut him off, testing his cut lip with the tip of his fingers. “I told you we should have gone home!”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Cloud was on his feet, following Leon as he staggered down the road, and when he tried again to put a comforting hand on his shoulder he was roughly shoved away. “Leon, I’m sorry.” He called after him.

“Leave me alone, Cloud.”

He watched Leon walk away, torn between following him and turning back around, and when Leon had finally disappeared from sight, and the cold had begun to eat through his clothes, Cloud shoved his bruise fists back into his pockets and slowly walked home.


	3. Chapter 3

The usual knock at her door came a full four hours early and a tad more frantic than she was used to; Aerith frowned and checked the clock above the stove again just in case she had misread it, but finding it accurate, she shrugged and answered the door anyway. There was only ever one person that knocked on her door on a Saturday.

"Leon!" Aerith gasped, hand stuck halfway to her mouth as she took the sight of him in. "What on earth happened?"

Leon stood awkwardly on the threshold, unsure if he was allowed in outside of his normal allotted time. His face was dark and bruised, the cut above his eyebrow making him scowl with pain. 

"I got into a fight." He said simply, rubbing his palms against his thighs. "I'm sorry." He added. 

"What? How... when?" Aerith asked, pulling him inside by the wrist and turned him in the better light of her apartment to see the damage. 

"Don't get mad, but it's Cloud's fault." Leon said, squirming under Aerith's extra scrutiny. 

"Cloud did this?"

"Yes. But not directly. He didn't hit me if that's what you mean?"

"Well what did he do?" Aerith was scowling.

"Are you mad? You seem like you're angry." Leon couldn't stop his left hand from tapping against his thigh. "You should shut the door." He added. 

"I..." Aerith did a double take and closed her mouth, shutting the door as instructed before she turned back to Leon a little more composed.

"Alright, sit down and tell me what happened."

"You're mad, aren't you?" 

"Of course I am, you're hurt." Aerith tried not to raise her voice as she sat on the sofa facing Leon, who sat stiffly, his left hand still tapping his thigh in a steady rhythm. "What did he do?"

Quickly and proficiently, Leon recounted the story, Aerith's face growing darker the whole time. 

"I told him!" She finally said. "I warned him not to break your routine. I thought he understood." 

"He said he was sorry." Leon offered, wondering if the information would help. 

"Sorry? I'll give him sorry." Aerith stood, fists balled in anger. "I'm gonna go down there and give him a piece of my mind, I can't belie-"

"No. Don't." Leon shook his head, a sort of panic on his face that Aerith often saw before a meltdown - something Leon hadn't had in a long time. "I don't want you to do that. Besides, you can't give someone a piece of your mind. You'd have to open up your skull and you'd die."

Aerith had to fight the urge to burst out laughing. "No I... I meant... it doesn't matter." She shook her head, smiling despite her anger. She sat down again, more curious now than anything. "Why don't you want me to talk to Cloud?"

Leon seemed to think hard about the question, his hand tapped furiously against his thigh and he worried his already bruised lip. 

"I need your advice." He finally said.

"What about?"

"How... how do you know if you like a person?" Leon asked tentatively staring hard at the coffee table. 

Aerith was silent for a short while, her mind doing flips as she tried to piece together where this was going. 

"Does this have anything to do with Cloud?" 

"Yes." Leon answered simply, and Aerith silently thanked his inability to lie. To others, Leon's unnerving straightforward nature and often times brutal honesty made him weird and uncomfortable to be around. But to Aerith, it had always been his best qualify. Having someone in your life who was incapable of ulterior motives was like drinking lemonade after bitter coffee. 

"Do you... think you might like him?" She asked, unsure how she felt about the idea. 

"I don't know. I want to be angry at him but if I like him I don't want to scare him away. If I don't like him I don't mind him leaving." 

Aerith felt her lips twitch into a small smile. 

"Well, how does the thought of him leaving make you feel?"

"Bad. I think I'd miss him. Except I wouldn't miss him sleeping on the couch because he always sleeps in too late and I have to be quiet in the mornings before I go to work."

"Okay," Aerith hadn't forgotten about Cloud's fuck up, but she felt her anger waning now, a subtle excitement replacing it as she tried not to let herself get carried away. This was everything she'd been hoping for Leon; an actual relationship with the chance of companionship. The prospect of Leon living the rest of his life alone haunted Aerith's thought more often than she'd like to admit. She wasn't going to be around forever. "I think maybe you might have answered your own question there." 

Leon frowned. "How?"

"Well, you said you'd feel bad if he left. You'd miss him. When we like someone we want to be around them all the time. They make us happy. Does Cloud make you happy?"

"Not all the time. Not last night. But most of the time, yes."

Aerith couldn't help the broad smile now, before she reminded herself of what Cloud had done and she straightened her features. 

"You know, you can still like someone and be mad at them at the same time." 

"How?" Leon's brows grew even more indented as he looked at Aerith for a fraction of a second.

"Well, you're doing it right now actually. You like Cloud, right? But you're also upset with him because he did a stupid selfish thing and it's okay to tell him that because it got you hurt. If he likes you too, he'll understand and be sorry."

"He won't go away?" The uncertainty in Leon's voice almost broke Aerith's heart. There was no denying it: Leon really liked Cloud and if he left, it would crush him.

"Look Leon," Aerith began softly, "no one can make another person stay if they don't want to, but if Cloud really likes you the way you like him, then he'll want to stick around. He'll also want to make up for what he's done. But, can I also make one suggestion?"

Leon thought through Aerith's words for a moment before he nodded his head. "Okay."

"If you really like Cloud, and you want him to understand why you are the way you are, and you don't want a repeat of what happened yesterday, then maybe you should consider telling him what happened to you as a child." 

The panicked look that came across Leon's face was expected, but what was not was the reasoned and measured response that he gave.

"What if I don't want to do that?"

"Then that's okay too. You don't have to if it hurts too much. But I think Cloud really likes you, and he's the first person you've met that you've liked having around. I think it would be okay to share this with him. I think he might even have some things to share with you too."

Leon looked at Aerith with unbridled confusion, almost an accusatory glare, and held it for as long as he could before he looked back at the coffee table. 

"How'd you know?"

Aerith shrugged. "Just a guess. But people don't end up on the streets because they want to. He's had a tough life. He might want to tell you a bit about it if you're willing to share with him."

"Why do I need to know what happened to him?" The idea of sharing life experience was as foreign to Leon as pretty much everything else. 

"Because it might help you understand him better." 

"Like the Observer Effect?" Leon asked with a raised brow, the hint of understanding starting to colour his words.

"The what?" 

"Measurements of certain systems cannot be made without affecting the systems, that is, without changing something in a system." Leon explained simply, compounding the confused look on Aerith's face. "You want me to talk to Cloud and affect the system so that I can measure it and know if Cloud likes me." 

"Um, yeah. Something like that." Aerith said, not entirely understanding if that was what she'd meant or not. Regardless, Leon seemed more sure of himself now. His hand had stopped tapping his leg and he had stopped chewing his lip. 

"Okay. I can do that." 

Aerith smiled warmly and breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Now do you want to start baking?"

Leon looked at his watch. "No. It's not time yet." 

*******

Cloud's gut had been churning all day. Half of him wanted to go upstairs to Aerith's apartment where he knew Leon would be and the other half advised severe caution in facing Leon's oldest and only friend. But he couldn't ignore the part of him that really wanted to see Leon and explain. To apologise. Again and again if necessary. Until Leon understood and believed him. There was also another part of him that wanted to forget it all and disappear. Maybe go back to that bar and drown all his sorrows and Cloud hated that that part of himself was even still talking after what had happened. 

Cloud paced in front of the bay window, occasionally stopping to stare out onto the still snow blown streets, his gaze not really seeing much as his mind turned over and over.   
The sound of the door opening made him jump, and he turned quickly, waiting nervously for Leon to appear. 

He came through a few seconds later and Cloud's heart twisted a little more painfully to see the injuries on his face. 

"Cloud, we need to talk." He said before Cloud could get a word out. 

"O...okay," Cloud hesitated, unable to read the fairly blank expression on Leon's face, but more than certain the feeling of foreboding in his stomach was widening for a reason. "I just... before you say anything I just want you to know how sorry I am about last night. I should have listened to you. I didn't mean for any of that to happen."

"I know." Leon replied, matter of factly. "You didn't make those men punch me, but you should have listened to me. I told you five times." Leon agreed, sitting in his usual chair. "You should sit down." He added. 

"Right." Cloud nodded, sitting opposite him with a wary eye fixed on Leon as he waited for him to talk. 

"Aerith said I should talk to you." Leon began, his fingers starting to tap against his leg again. 

"You told Aerith about what happened?"

"Yes." 

"Was she mad?"

"Yes."

Cloud winced, knowing it was coming but he still felt the sting of Aerith's anger and disappointment. "What did she say?"

"She wanted to give you a piece of her mind." Leon relayed her words faithfully. "But I don't understand how that would help. What would you do with a bit of her brain?" There was no irony or hint of amusement in his voice, and Cloud had to take a second to let the question sink in, before he could make sense of it. He tried not to smile. 

"Um, I don't think she was being literal there buddy. She... she meant that she was going to come down here and shout at me. To tell me exactly what she thought of me." 

"Oh." Leon was still frowning as he processed the explanation. "But how would that help either?" 

Cloud had to concede, Leon had a good point there, too. 

"Well, it might have made her feel better."

"Does shouting make you feel better?" The question took Cloud by surprise. 

"I... I guess. Sometimes. When I'm hurt."

Leon thought about that statement for a while, the words going round in his mind behind the quiet mask of his face when unexpectedly he spoke again.

"People think I don't know when I'm being made fun of. But I do. I might not know why, but I know it. Those men last night, they were making fun of me." 

Cloud's throat caught up tight and he had to swallow hard to clear it. 

"Yeah, they were." He agreed softly.

"Was that why you started the fight?" 

Cloud nodded slowly, unable to take his eyes off Leon, though he refused to return his stare. 

"You shouldn't have." Leon said simply, no hint of anger or reprisal in his tone. "A lot of people are mean to me, you can't fight them all. I don't want you to fight them all." 

"But... doesn't it make you mad, when people treat you that way? Doesn't it make you want to stop it?"

Leon nodded, his fingers beginning to drum faster and harder against his leg. "One time I tried." He said, his eyes taking on a far away, misted look as his thoughts turned inward.

"When?" 

"When I was seventeen." Leon's breathing was a little laboured, and Cloud was well aware of the signs of distress radiating from his stiff posture. Whatever he was remembering, it was clearly painful. 

"You know, you don't have to tell me this if you don't want to?" He offered gently.

"Aerith said I should."

"Why?" Cloud asked, wondering why Aerith would insist on Leon deliberately putting himself in an uncomfortable situation just for him? 

"Because I like you. And I want you to like me too. Aerith said if I told you what happened to me that maybe you would tell me what happened to you. And then I'd be able to know if you liked me or not." Even as he said it, he didn't seem sure and it was obvious Leon was operating on blind faith that Aerith held some deeper wisdom than Leon could currently understand. As if by following her words to the letter he would somehow reveal secrets of the world that had previously been unknown to him. "Like the Observer Effect, except we're people not atoms, and this probably isn't a very scientifically sound test environment. Too many variables." And Cloud didn't have the first clue what that was about.

"Y-you don't have to do this to know if I like you or not." Cloud told him slowly, standing and moving himself to sit on the coffee table. It was more directly in front of Leon, but it meant he could reach over and place a firm hand against his bouncing knee, making sure the contact was purposeful. "Just ask me." Leon's leg stilled and he locked his gaze on the hand, staring at it for long moments before he swallowed visibly and opened his mouth. 

"Do you?" His eyes flicked up to Cloud's briefly. "Like me?"

Cloud let go of Leon's knee and slowly reached up towards his face, taking it between his hands extremely deliberately, watching for any sign of alarm in Leon's expression as he pressed his lips against his. It was short and tender, with only the barest minimum of response from Leon, but when Cloud pulled away he was pleased to see no revulsion or horror in his eyes.

"Was that a yes?" Leon asked. 

Cloud couldn't help it, he laughed softly, letting go of Leon's face and sat back. 

"Yeah," he replied, "that's a yes." 

Leon seemed pleased finally, breathing out slowly as he sat back and relaxed a little, a small smile turning his features bright for a moment. It was only a small thing - the tiniest of smiles - but the way it changed Leon's whole countenance was earth shattering. Cloud decided he'd never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. 

"You never have to tell me anything you don't want to, okay?" He said, watching Leon's face so closely now, he could see the flecks of blue in the steely grey of his eyes. 

"Okay," Leon nodded. 

"And you have every right to still be mad with me."

Leon shook his head. "I don't think I am now."

"Cool. Well, maybe I should go and see Aerith. Just to say sorry to her too." 

Leon thought about this for a moment, before he agreed. "She did say she was pretty mad." 

Cloud's smile faltered a little. "Right." He said flatly. Steeling himself, he breathed deeply and made his way upstairs. 

*******

"You've got a lot of explaining to do." Aerith glared at Cloud across the threshold, arms folded, and made no move to invite him inside.

"I know, I'm sorry. C-can I come in?" Cloud asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he squirmed under Aerith's scrutiny. Eventually she relented.

"Fine, but you better have a damned good reason for doing what you did."

Cloud's heart was pounding.

"Um, actually, no. Not really." The confession didn't do anything to lift Aerith's demeanour. 

"That's it? That all you're gonna say?" Aerith made room for him to slip by and slammed the door, crossing her arms again. 

"N-no, I... I just wanted to explain."

"Leon explained it all. Unless you have anything else to add then we're done here." She made to open the door again before Cloud reached out and stopped her, holding his palm flat against the door.

"No wait, I... I really am sorry Aer. I didn't mean for all that to happen, and it was only one drink-"

"If you think that's a good enough excuse for what happened then you need to leave. And I don't just mean my apartment. You need to leave Leon's life. Now." She pierced him with a deadly glare and a clenched jaw and dared him to contradict her. 

"I can't do that," Cloud wasn't so sure he was feeling as brave as he sounded. "I like him, Aerith. More than just friends. And I know he likes me too. I'm not just gonna up and disappear because I fucked up once. Is that what you want? For me to leave him without explaining why?"

The fire in Aerith's eyes died slightly and her jaw relaxed, her defences weakening the longer he stared at her. 

"No." She eventually conceded, taking her hand off the door handle. "If you left now it would crush him. He really likes you." She admitted, albeit reluctantly.

"I know. And I really like him. I just... I screwed up. I get it. It won't happen again."

"You don't get it!” The words were spoken softly but they still stung. Aerith shook her head and made her way to the kitchen and picked up a hand towel, obviously halfway through washing the dishes when Cloud had stopped by. Cloud followed her in. "Screwing up with Leon is not like messing up in any other relationship. Leon takes things so literally. He doesn't understand ulterior motives or hidden agendas. He doesn't get other people's nuanced emotions. What you see is what you get with him, and if you fuck up he needs a physical, tangible reason. He has to be able to rationalise it his way. Because that's what being in a relationship with him means. It means doing things his way. Living in his world." Aerith sighed and put the glass she had been drying aside. "If you want to be with him you've gotta let go of whatever it was in your past that brought you here. You can't have those kind of demons and expect Leon to shoulder them. It's not fair."

Cloud swallowed uncomfortably. He'd been ready for a lot of verbal from Aerith but this was honestly taking a much different turn than he'd expected.

"I don't... it's not like that Aerith. I don't wanna put anything on him. I mean, it's not his place. He probably wouldn't get it anyway-"

"You see, this is the problem!" Aerith slammed the hand towel down, interrupting him again. "People think that because you have autism you can't empathise, like you're not all there or something. But I promise you, if you tell him what you're feeling, he'll get it. He's been through so much shit in his life he probably feels too much. Whatever has happened to you, Leon will understand, but don't expect him to fix it for you. Don't assume things about him and what he's capable of just because he's got this label. Because it doesn't mean shit." Aerith's cheeks were a little red, and her eyes blazed intensely as she stared at Cloud. She saw the way her words were overwhelming him and she bit the inside of her cheek, her temper cooling a little as she felt her gut rolling in her stomach. This wasn't fair. This tearing of emotions. Wanting Leon to be happy but afraid to hand over the reins. 

"If you're gonna stick around then you need to stick around," she said gently but firmly, finally able to meet his eye again. "Because the moment he starts to rely on you and you take that away from him, his whole world implodes. You need to be sure this is what you want."

It was a big ask of anyone, and if Aerith was honest, she wasn't sure Cloud was up to the task. Hell, who would be? 

Cloud's jaw worked silently for a moment, his eyes large and lost as he stared hard at the floor in front of Aerith's feet. 

"I-I don't wanna hurt him." He admitted softly. Aerith breathed in slowly and steadily to calm her pounding heart.

"Then don't."


End file.
